My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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