i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
