Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
