some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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