She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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