tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
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So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
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Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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