I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize