Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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