doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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