We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
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you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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