WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
are you so shy because you have an std?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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