New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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