paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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