Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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