that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize