my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
the liver wants what the liver wants
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize