yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
my liver is dry heaving
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
