I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
