It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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