Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize