He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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