Have you finally orgasmed yet?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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