His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Even the bartender felt bad for me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Are we still banned from the library?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
