if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
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