this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize