now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just had sex on a roof
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
