were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I showed him my bush... on skype.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
