This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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