hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
