Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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