Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
