God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
