I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
