i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
