just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
operation harelip BJ is a go
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
