Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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