why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
