okay pat passed out under dana's car
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
worst night to have a conscience
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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