so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
