we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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