i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
