Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
