East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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