you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
