I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
