Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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