Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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