You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Someone shattered a urinal.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
