I wish my penis had an off switch
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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