dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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