You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
