i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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