Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize