My room smells like vodka and shame
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
