My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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