Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize