well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize