Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
