Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
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Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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