Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
not ubering you a puppy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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