It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
