May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
