idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
